The Top 10 Questions I Get Asked About Birth
One of the things I love most about supporting families through pregnancy and birth is the curiosity, honesty, and openness people bring to our sessions. Birth is a huge life event, and naturally, parents have questions — lots of them.
At Nurturing Maternity Support, no question is ever too small or too strange. Your questions matter because they reflect your hopes, your concerns, and your desire to feel informed and confident.
So today, I’m sharing the top 10 questions I get asked about birth, along with the reassuring, evidence-based guidance I offer to the families I support.
1. “How will I know I’m really in labour?”
This is by far one of the most common questions — and for good reason! Early labour can be subtle, and every body behaves differently.
Typically, you’re in early labour when:
Surges are rhythmic and gradually becoming stronger
You notice a “bloody show” or mucus plug
You feel a consistent pattern (not random tightening’s)
Rest, hydration, or a warm bath don’t make the sensations stop
You’ll know things are shifting into active labour when surges feel stronger, longer, and closer together. Trust your instincts — your body will guide you.
2. “What does a contraction actually feel like?”
Contractions feel different for everyone. Some describe them as:
Intense period cramps
A tightening or pressure across the abdomen
Waves that build, peak, and fade
A deep pulling sensation in the pelvis
The key word is wave. Sensations come and go, giving your body a pause in between. With preparation, breathing, movement, and support, contractions become manageable and meaningful.
3. “How can my partner help during labour?”
Your birth partner plays a HUGE role. In our sessions, we focus heavily on partner involvement because it truly transforms the experience.
Partners can help by:
Providing physical comfort (massage, pressure, holding, support in positions)
Protecting the birth space (managing lighting, noise, timing)
Encouraging calm breathing
Offering affirmations and emotional reassurance
Advocating for your preferences
A well-prepared partner helps you feel safer, calmer, and more supported — which helps labour progress more smoothly.
4. “Do I really need a birth plan?”
I always say: you don’t need a strict plan — but you DO benefit from preferences.
Birth can be unpredictable, but preparing your wishes helps guide your team. A birth plan is clarity, communication, and confidence all rolled into one.
It helps you (and your partner) understand:
Pain relief preferences
Environment needs (lighting, movement, water)
Preferred positions
Wishes for immediate post-birth care
Flexibility if things change
It’s less about control and more about informed decision-making.
5. “Is it true that pain relief slows labour?”
Pain relief doesn’t always slow labour — but some types can influence the rhythm or intensity of contractions. For example, epidurals may reduce sensation, which sometimes slows the pushing stage.
What matters most is understanding your options and using pain relief intentionally. Many families use a blend of natural comfort techniques first, then medical support if needed.
Birth preparation helps you make informed choices, not fearful ones.
6. “What if birth doesn’t go the way I imagined?”
This is a big emotional question — and a very real one.
Birth rarely goes exactly as planned, but preparation helps you stay calm and grounded even when plans shift.
The key is:
Flexibility
Understanding your options
Feeling involved in decisions
Having supportive people around you
Even if birth looks different from your original vision, it can still be positive, empowering, and deeply meaningful.
7. “How can I stay calm during labour?”
Calm is not luck — it’s preparation.
Tools we practise in sessions include:
Breathing techniques
Relaxation and visualisation
Affirmations
Movement and gravity-based positions
Water immersion
Creating a calm environment (lighting, music, privacy)
Staying calm doesn’t mean you won’t feel intensity — it means you’ll feel supported, steady, and in control.
8. “When should I go to the hospital/birth centre?”
A general guideline is the 4-1-1 rule:
Surges every 4 minutes
Lasting 1 minute
Continuing for 1 hour
But this varies depending on your unique situation.
If you’re having a home birth, your midwife will guide you on when to call.
Either way, trust your instincts. If you feel like it’s time, it probably is.
9. “Can I move during labour?”
YES — movement is one of your greatest tools.
Changing positions helps:
Baby move down smoothly
Reduce discomfort
Open the pelvis
Keep contractions effective
Support a shorter, more comfortable labour
Birth is not meant to happen lying flat. Your body knows what to do — and movement is part of that instinctive rhythm.
10. “How can I prepare emotionally for birth?”
Emotional preparation is just as important as physical preparation.
We explore:
Fears or concerns
Past experiences
Your beliefs about birth
Mindset tools
How to create safety and calm
Partner communication
Birth is deeply emotional.
Working through thoughts and feelings beforehand helps you enter labour with confidence, trust, and openness.
Final Thoughts
Every question you ask during pregnancy is a sign of strength. It means you’re thinking, planning, preparing — and wanting to make empowered choices for your family.
Birth preparation is not about memorising facts. It’s about:
understanding your options
building confidence
exploring emotions
strengthening partner involvement
learning practical tools
creating a sense of safety
And when you feel safe, supported, and informed, birth becomes not just manageable — but transformative.
At Nurturing Maternity Support, these questions come up often in our group and private sessions. We guide families through the practical, emotional, and physical preparation needed for a confident and positive birth experience. No question is too big or too small — your curiosity is welcome here.
